It's time for our very first weekly music roundup! We could give you the 10 best songs or five best videos or some other played out listicle concept, but instead, every Friday we're going to give you a completely different played out concept: superlatives. Each week in this space we'll come up with some completely arbitrary categories to identify the best and worst things about the past seven days of music. Fuck the middle ground.

The week of July 7 wasn't exactly crazy busy on the music front, maybe because World Cup fever is still distracting everyone, but we had our share of new songs to judge instantaneously, rap beefs to untangle, and Photoshop controversies. Let's get to it.

Most Nonsensical Use of a Wiz Khalifa Image: Young Thug

The internet is so intriguing. We would love to get inside the head of the person who discovered that Young Thug's cover for his new mixtape is a blatant Photoshop job, featuring a touched-up Wiz Khalifa promo photo with Thug's head pasted onto it. As of this writing, Thugger hasn't addressed the "controversy," but it's entirely possible this is all just part of his Weirdest Dude in Rap shtick.


Latest Proof That J. Cole Is More Exciting as an A&R Guy Than as a Rapper: Cozz

We know the heads love Cole, but dude's a snore. That said, his early co-signs of Kendrick Lamar, Chance the Rapper, Bas, and now Cozz show he's hot shit when it comes to tastemaking. Cole signed Compton newcomer Cozz to his Dreamville Records imprint late last month, and this week he dropped "Knock the Hustle," his first new song since the announcement, and it proves he's no fluke.

Biggest Cheesedick: Robin Thicke

Thicke tried to get the public on his side and hoped to make estranged wife Paula Patton look like the unforgiving villain, but the only bitch here is karma. Thicke's months-long campaign of cheesedickery and borderline stalking has resulted in Paula selling 530 copies in the U.K. and in Australia it moved — at most — 53 units. Fifty-three! Stateside, it sold 24,000 in its first week, which is way too many, but is still a paltry figure. Guess we Yanks have a higher tolerance for fuckery.

Most Likely to Save Trap-Rave: DJ Sliink

The New Jersey DJ dropped an official remix of Danny Brown's "Smokin & Drinkin" that will lead to even more smokin' and drinkin' than the original.

Queen of the Loosies: SZA

SZA dropped not one but two random tracks this week. First up was "Moodring," a beautiful blast of pink fog for Kitty Cash's next mixtape. Two days later, SZA returned with Jill Scott collab "Divinity," resulting in seven minutes of psychedelic soul.

Best Gang Recruiting Video: Gathering of the Juggalos

Insane Clown Posse's lawsuit against the FBI was dismissed, which means the law enforcement agency can continue labeling ICP and its Juggalo fans as gang members. These dudes traffic in Faygo and ain't nobody moving in on their turf.

Most Likely to Be a Politician: Wale

Meek Mill called out his labelmate Wale for not promoting his new album announcement, and after Milly's Twitter rant, Wale responded with a lengthy Instagram post for the ages. His basic argument was "I'm not like these other MMG goons, I'm more sensitive and refined, thus I cannot be a hater" — which, fine. But the roundabout way he got to that point was straight out of the political playbook. By talking about his love of sports, Zelda (original or Ocarina of Time, bruh?), and chicks who paint, he somehow took what could have been an ugly spat and quashed it by simultaneously confusing and charming everyone. Wale for Prez.

Most Tepid Comeback Single: Death From Above 1979 and Interpol (tie)

It's not that we don't like their respective new singles. Interpol's "All the Rage Back Home" actually sparked something in us that we don't remember feeling from anything on their last album. And DFA79's "Trainwreck 1979" thankfully didn't live up to the title — but it also didn't reach the primal dance thrashing transcendence of their earlier stuff. We're not losing hope in these aughts heroes yet.

Best EDM Collaboration Involving Diddy: 11 11's "My Heart"

A tasteful EDM joint from Puffy? We'll take it!

Most Likely to fill the Knife-Sized Void in Your Life: Soft as Snow

This Norwegian duo provided a glimpse of an alternate universe where The Knife decided to keep making ominous Scandi-pop instead of pretentious art-noise.

Sure, why not? Black Sabbath Chucks.

We know when you go to a concert, you can't wear the shirt of the band you're seeing. But what about wearing their shoes? Not that anyone needs to ever worry about seeing Sabbath (a)live ever again. Grab these for $60.

Let us know what you loved and hated about music this week in the comments below.