Miley Cyrus Is Alive, Still Topless
Over the weekend, Miley Cyrus death rumors began spreading online, because the pop star hadn't posted anything on social media in three days, and we all know social media activity is the best indicator of life — first check their Instagram, then Twitter, and only then do you check their pulse.
But it turns out she was just trekking through the desert, probably on a vision quest in search of the true meaning of that one emoji with the blue triangles over the guy's head. Cyrus last night posted a photo from the wilderness, sans shirt, because it's hot in the desert but also because it's a Miley Instagram post and there's a strict no-shirt policy.
So there you have it, she's fine. WAYNE COYNE CAN CANCEL PLANS TO SNORT HER REMAINS AND RETURN TO HIS HAMSTER BALL.