"I bet there aren't any Hasidic women pushing strollers in this video." That was my reaction upon hearing about Catey Shaw's "Brooklyn Girls," before I even clicked play on this tepid spoonful of Sara BORE-ellis™ goop. And it turns out it's a pure, uncut vision of Brooklyn As Advertised By Two Broke Girls and Urban Outfitters. With platitudes like "Brooklyn girls, when they walk in they rule the world," "Tough and pretty, break the rules," and "She's got her own style," the vague signifiers rolled in, proving that "Brooklyn" is the new "hipster," in that both words mean anything you want them to mean now.

How Brooklyn are these girls Shaw sings of? Well, the hordes of interesting females who are interesting and so Brooklyn have blue hair and piercings and body art, and they do selfie poses in front of (commissioned) street art. They "wait for the L train," which also describes half of Manhattan. She's so Brooklyn that you'll "see her on the Lower East Side," which, again, not Brooklyn. And "Jay Z bumps in our headphones, drinks on top of the brownstones" applies to LITERALLY EVERY HUMAN IN AMERICA. We are all Brooklyn girls.