Ah, it's time for the MTV Video Music Awards, that annual pop-culture game of "Top this!" that nobody even really cares about but you have to watch and comment on anyway because everyone thinks everyone cares about it. Let's be honest, we know Iggy Flopzalea is going to win all the VMA trophies, but we're gonna go ahead and let you know who we at ANTENNA are rooting for in each category at this year's ceremony.

/checks VMA site, sees Jessie J prominently displayed at top, questions all the life decisions that have led to this assignment.

Well, at least Beyoncé is getting the Video Vanguard Award and we'll have Twitter to take the edge off as we slog through this carnival of fuckery, which airs Sunday night at 9 p.m. ET on MTV.

Head below for the picks, but remember that no matter who wins, we all lose.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

Who we want to win: Beyoncé ft. Jay Z, "Drunk in Love"

Who will win: This is a tough one, because you'd think Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX's "Fancy" would run away with it. But how many people of VMA voting age even know what Clueless is? Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball" takes it. ACTUALLY... Bey's getting that Vanguard so maybe the fix is in. Ah, who the fuck knows.

BEST MALE VIDEO

Who we want to win: Oof, slim pickins here. Pharrell's "Happy," we guess.

Who will win: Eminem ft. Rihanna, "Stay." Never underestimate the power of the Navy.

BEST FEMALE VIDEO

Who we want to win: Beyoncé, "Partition"

Who will win: Beyoncé, "Partition"

BEST POP VIDEO

Who we want to win: Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea, "Problem." C'mon it's time for everyone to admit this song is so much better than "Fancy" (probably because it has less Iggy in it).

Who will win: Something involving Iggy.

BEST COLLABORATION

Who we want to win: Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne & Tyga, "Loyal." Fuck Chris Brown, but still, this song.

Who will win: Beyoncé ft. Jay Z, "Drunk in Love." How is "Fancy" not in here, by the way?

BEST HIP-HOP VIDEO

Who we want to win: Love "Black Skinhead," the song, but that video is wack. Wiz Khalifa, "We Dem Boyz."

Who will win: Drake ft. Majid Jordan, "Hold On We're Going Home," even though this song is hip-hop like "Royals" is rock.

BEST ROCK VIDEO

Who we want to win: What is rock? HA! Just messing with you guys. Arctic Monkeys, "Do I Wanna Know?"

Who will win: Lorde, "Royals." Rock, or whatever.

MTV CLUBLAND AWARD

Who we want to win: DJ Snake & Lil Jon, "Turn Down for What"

Who will win: DJ Snake & Lil Jon, "Turn Down for What"

ARTIST TO WATCH

Who we want to win: Schoolboy Q, but if Charli XCX wins we'll be okay with that, too.

Who will win: Who knows, 5 Seconds of Summer probably. You know little girls are coming out of the woodwork to vote for those tools.

BEST LYRIC VIDEO

Who we want to win: Nope. Not doing this.

BEST VIDEO WITH A SOCIAL MESSAGE

LOL bye.