We’re Not Impressed With This $200K Gold Shirt
Oh, another gold shirt? Could you be any less original Mr. Indian business tycoon, Pankaj Parakh? What kind of basic betch only spends $211,000 on a gold shirt instead of spending $250,000 like a true player? If you're going to spend a shit ton of money on a shirt, you better go balls out and have the most expensive shirt in existence. We would have added some rubies and sapphires and shit to make this thing look real Aladdin style.
We WOULD have swept so many Indian Jasmines right off of their feet and onto our magic carpets that Pankaj Parakh over here would have had no choice to move to another country because we dried up the well. We WOULD have made a shirt that's like, a gazillion karat gold instead of this 18K gold piece of trash shirt. We WOULD have used the gazillion karat shirt to somehow end world hunger. We WOULD have used the shirt to free Max B. Sadly, we can't do any of this because we're poor and ugly and not cool. Aaaaaand we're depressed.